Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Is Still Better than Gulag

 Zvezda 0 (Zero)


Soviet Lunar Listening Post

There is some speculation in the intelligence community as to the original founding of the Soviet listening post Zvezda-Zero. Originally little more than what is dubbed as a "Numbers Station" it chirped random Soviet gibberish in asynchronicity for most of the 1980's. Theorized to be a broken telemetry broadcast or some automated KGB "red herring", investigation turned up localized broadcast traffic on a wide band frequency. NASA at the urgence of several three-letter-agencies set up a counter listening post and a "geological survey team" was dispatched to monitor local "Plate Techtonics". 


Nothing pleases the C.I.A. more than discovering justification to a well-entrenched sense of paranoia. So, when suspicious (or any) Soviet mining operations had commenced at the site, margins from those $3,000 toilette seat sales to the pentagon were about to fund a black project. The following is an account of the observed personnel around Zvezda-Zero. 

Personalities

Dr. Stevenov Petrov and Chief Engineer Vasilev

Unnamed Security officer (right) & KGB Agent (or possible crew cook, Left.). 


Target designated: "Goon"


Designated Agent ID: "Ward Cleaver" 
Cleaver is frequently detected wandering around outside the base with a kitchen meat cleaver mumbling on an open mic, excerpts of Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, and giggling to himself. 
 

Geology Team


Early monitoring of the excavating team numbered the mechanical equipment at 6 boring machines.
over time the team has resorted to hand tools as parts have been cannibalized to keep the remaining two drills functional. It is speculated due to the limited drops the base isn't requesting parts that would take up room in the deliveries that would cut into vital supplies of vodka and cigarettes. 

 
    

Most Dangerous Man on the Moon 

     

Designated Code name: "The Tourist"
For months operatives at the Outpost have been tracking this individual on the Zvezda site. With no determined assignment he wanders around the site with a thermally shielded metallic brief case cuffed to his wrist.  Analyst are convinced it is a suitcase sized nuclear device or possibly a less popular theory, the only pornography on the base.
  

Combat Team


Possibly the least concerning contingent on the base is the 402nd armed regimental combat team, consisting of 4 active soldiers. They only threat they pose is to the American Listening post's personnel and they don't carry enough oxygen to reach anyone else on the Lunar surface.  


R&D


Soviet Reasearch & Development has been working on a Gyroscopically stabilized rocket propelled grenade system akin to its fin stabilized terrestrial predecessor. Most analysts aren't sure if this is a prelude to conflict on our celestial neighbor or technological propaganda ploy to show Soviet superiority in space.  Most have settled on the later as the weapons assistant is always required to carry the Soviet flag around when they parade this thing around before a tepid display of modern firepower.  





Friday, January 3, 2025

New Year; Better Optics.

Editor's note:
 The Site will have improved Photography due to better technology on the Lunar Mission thanks to a generous donation from the Central Intelligence Agency, The Fine people at Raytheon and some new interest from the incoming Administration's "We need to Look better than the Soviets" Slush fund. 

"Back to our regularly scheduled Moon Landing"  

Report: 

Location: Luna, Summum Tabulae Planae.  (Table-Top Plain)

1991-01-03

The NASA lunar research facility, Roanoke is staffed by 23 EVA certified personnel consisting of a Command Staff, Geology team, Engineering team, a Slightly-less-than-lethal Security detail, and a EVA assault group that is classified as a Geospatial Survey Team by CIA operations. The Outpost serves as an observation post whose mission is classified, generally falls under the orders "keep observation on a Soviet Observation post some 30 Kilometers to the relative east of this position." 


The Roanoke Outpost is currently under the command of Col. Patrick Allen, USAF seen here with the European Union Flag “acquired” after a joint mission with the ESA outpost Stella Artois’ team after celebratory Jager Shots. The ESA has petitioned for the return of the banner, once the Coronel remembers what he did with it. 


(Diplomatic addendum: Stella Artois is not actually the ESA Outpost official title. “Lunaire Artois” was the official outpost name but the NASA personnel lacking a skill in French improvised with something they could all remember.)

“The Kreeps”,

“The Kreeps”, the nick name of the NASA Geological team, named for the granular soil covering the surface of the moon & consequently their uniforms are generally an afterthought to the mission of the outpost. Producing breathable Oxygen, drinkable water, mining fusion powering Helium 3 and synthetic rocket fuel from the moon's resources is a little dull to the other high-profile mission personnel.






“Moon Patrol”

The “Moon Patrol” or “Crater Cops” is the unappealing name of the Roanoke Outpost’s Almost-Less-Than-lethal base security team. Mostly made fun of by the Lunar Assault team they are charged with keeping track of objects on the base that tend to walk off when no one is looking, like supplies, mining equipment, entire solar arrays and joyrides in the L.R.V 's to name a few. So far, the Security team is working on improving their safety record of nearly 86 hours without a serious injury. 

  





  

“Ninjaneers” 


The “Ninjaneers” are the base operations team, fix-it-men and serious nerds on the frontier. With a plethora of mathematical jokes and Star Trek references no one can tell outside of their team if they are serious about a problem or tech-splaining things just to appear busy to the rest of the crew. Known for their brutal poker games and obsession with hissing noises "these guys keep us from dying in our sleep" the captain justifies frequently. 








     "The Team"


The “
Geospatial Survey Team” runs classified operations on the Lunar surface for three letter agencies' black budget projects. The things they haven't seen on the moon would astound you. As seen above they joy in the posing in theatrical poster covers for the captain's Imagined book "Lunatic on the Fringe". 
"If you knew some of the crap going on up here, you would disappear." quote Captain -REDCTED- 







   


Thursday, September 7, 2023

Chinese Lunar New Year


Lunar Tuesday this week started off with a new player engaged in resource gathering on the moon. , the first scenario in the first edition Lunar rules book. Player 3 will represent the CNSA in the ongoing campaign. 


CIA lunar report:
Brief hostilities broke out this week between a Soviet 3 man medical team and a Five man Chinese Taikonaut self proclaimed geology team. Sources claim they are engaged in espionage, in spite of Beijing still refusing to acknowledged any presence on the moon what so ever. NASA video surveillance recorded a no holds bared conflict for salvage rights over a newly scattered supply drop. Video shows the Cosmonauts deescalate the situation through hand signaling and compromise of the jettison materials. 
NASA reported to the Lunar Associate Press Science Editorial (LAPSE) this afternoon “ I’m not sure what the issue is with the CNSA? They know they’re there. We know they’re there. The Soviets know they are there. What’s the point of  sending a man to the moon and just not claiming the accomplishments?” 
Editor’s note: it has been brought to our attention that the Soviet team is composed of a 2 man and 1 woman team that is frequently mistaken for three men. 


Further reports of an Improvisational Joint Operation between CNSA and NASA teams working a newly exposed Wingnutium ore site went unconfirmed as communications interference disrupted the video feed from the mining site frustrating international intelligence agencies. 


Thursday, August 31, 2023

The Moon's Dark Side.

"Lunar Tuesday" is now an event, even if the Rolling Stones missed that song title.  

Our extremely local gaming group has decided to meet after work to continue the campaign.

This week we played Scenario 3 from the Lunar original rules book again but instead of a Structure defense, the Americans were striping parts from a LK lander to fix the low gravity Espresso machine back at the Roanoke Lunar Colony. The game was stacked against the Cosmonauts as the Astronauts were ready for a fight because of the caffeine withdraw.  

This is a lunar American Sniper team armed with a Mass-Shot-Gun and a Gym-sock filled with moon rocks (Improvised weapon).
This heavily armed Strike team carried a Net launcher, a less-than-Lethal but more-than-comical improvised mass launcher, and the most deadly weapon in their inventory a portable mining drill. 
 
After about 4 rounds of Warner-Brothers style physical combat, the Russians bowled over with brute force and no short order of capitalist comedy gave up the lander to the Americans.


 

Is Still Better than Gulag

 Zvezda 0 (Zero) Soviet Lunar Listening Post There is some speculation in the intelligence community as to the original founding of the Sovi...